fast forward

present day - aniston is two weeks shy of her four month birthday and i absolutely cannot believe how fast this time has gone by!  we decided to take pictures every month on the 5th so we can see how much she is growing and changing and it is just so hard to believe how much she has changed in just a short period of time!!

august 7th, this was the night we brought her home with her just born onesie.  her little legs are like toothpicks and she is so teeny tiny!

september 5th, her one month picture she isnt much bigger than her just born pic.  we had a lot some difficulties with feedings and gaining weight during her first month of life.  i was under the impression that breastfeeding was going great, she would latch on and eat for a while, she produced several poopy and wet diapers, everything seemed to be how it should be...however she wasn't gaining - at all! it was such a difficult time for me - i wanted to bf SO bad and gave it my all but we ended up having to supplement because she just wouldnt gain weight.

october 5th, two months old - her legs are getting chunky and she is filling out. we decided to add sitting her in the chair in her room with her owl pillow as well as with her lamb.

november 5th - my little rolly poly. she has the cutest chipmunk cheeks ever! sorry girl, you get those from yo momma. she is beginning to sit up better, has more control of her head. during this month she's began "talking" more. she will squeal at her "friends", those are the little figures on her mobile and on her carseat.

aniston baby, you need to slow down! you are growing much too fast -- i want you to stay little forever.

birth story

our last office appointment with dr. o'nan was thursday, august 4th at 9:30am.  my first question to her was "are we still on for me being induced tonight?" she looked at my chart and explained that we'd have to be a little sneaky - see the hospital has this rule that you can't induce your patient more than a week before their due date.  well i was already 10 days ahead of my due date at that point so i was a little worried that it wasnt going to happen.  she advised me that we would need to get an ultrasound because of 'lack of fetal movement' - with that documented in my chart she had free reigns to induce me early. YIPPIE! so not only did i get to see my sweet little angel one more time before i had her, i was going to be having her soon, very soon! 

after the ultrasound checked out good, dr. o'nan asked if i wanted her to strip my membranes - i've heard my friends talk about their membranes being stripped and how very, very uncomfortable it was.  i was less than thrilled about it, but she said that it could possibly start my labor on its own and i wouldn't need to be induced.  OH EM GEE!! it hurt sooooo bad! i almost had her stop before she was actually done with the procedure, it was horrible pain...those 30 seconds it took do it seemed like 30 minutes! she sent us home and told me to get as much rest as possible.  said i would probably cramp and have some spotting but it was all normal - if my water broke i should report to labor and delivery but if not then to show up at L&D at 9:30pm to be induced.

we went home and i tried to sleep the day away but my mind was racing and i felt like i had so much to get done around the house because the next time we would be there we'd have our little bundle of joy with us and i wanted it to be perfect.  i dont remember what time but sometime that afternoon i started having contractions - they weren't that strong but they were pretty consistent.  i tried to remember my breathing techniques that i learned in our comfort measures childbirth class but all that went out the window when it came time to use it.  my parents took us out to eat for my last meal and during dinner i was definitely having contractions - they were getting stronger and were roughly about 6 minutes apart.  robbie and i both needed to take showers and finish packing our bags for the hosptial so we rushed home and before we knew it we were in the car driving to the hospital.

we pulled into the parking garage and lucked out, we got a parking spot right on the first level! we made our way to the second floor and checked in to the labor and delivery hall. we got settled into our room and met my nurses.  they started my IV which i was terrified of - but it ended up not being so bad.  they put all of the monitors on me, the baby monitor and the blood pressure cuff.  my nurse taught me how to unhook and hook it all back up for when i needed to get up and go to the bathroom. then she started my pitocin.  she told me that it was a very small amount that would jump start my labor but i should still be able to rest and be ready to go in the morning.  well i guess where dr. o'nan had stripped my membranes and i was already contracting that "small amount" of pitocin was already causing me to be extremely uncomfortable.  i tried to ignore it and rest but every time i moved the monitors would get messed up which would bring the nurses in to fix them. robbie on the other hand was sound asleep on his little uncomfortable, fold out chair.  finally about 1:45am i needed to go to the restroom.  i unhooked all my cords and wheeled them all into the bathroom.  i had to wake up robbie to help me get them all hooked back up so i could get back in bed, as i rolled into a comfortable position my water broke! somehow between the time of getting me back on the monitor and me finding a comfortable position robbie had dozed back off to sleep.  i had to wake him up and tell him about my water breaking and asked him to call in my nurse.  i dont think he believed that my water had actually broken - he was hesitant to call the nurse but i insisted that i didnt just pee all over myself.  the nurse came in and used her little test strip to make sure it was amniotic fluid and not just urine - as i rolled onto my back for her to test the rest of it came gushing out! she said "yep! your water defintely broke" i started to get really nervous now.

my friend had just had a baby boy six weeks prior and she gave me the advise that when my water broke to go on and ask for my epidural.  well i didn't listen to her.  i tried to wait as long as possible before asking for the epidural because i was TERRIFIED of getting it.  my nurse just gave me some pain meds through my IV and told me it should be enough to take the edge off of my contractions but...she lied! my contractions were already so strong and i was kicking myself for not taking kate's advise.  i immediately woke robbie up for the third time to get him to get my nurse -- i was ready for my epidural.  he tried to be so kind and supportive in my time of pain by rubbing my shoulders and back but i didnt want anyone touching me and i shewed him away - i was clinched to the handle of the bed holding on for dear life, i was in some major pain.  at 3:30am robbie was never more happy to see the anesthesiologist.  once i got drugged up i was golden!  i was finally able to get some rest, something that hadn't happened since i showed up at 9:30.  but i was up and at 'em by 8am the next morning when proud gran and pawpaw decided to show up. 

i dont remember being in any pain when i woke up the next morning but i do remember feeling like i had to poop. if i said it once i said it a thousand times "i need to poop...i'm about to poop all over myself...i NEED to poop!"  i called the nurse in i dont know how many times to tell her, i need to poo! she kept telling me its just her head putting pressure down there, you dont really have to go.  she was also telling me that if i tried to go that it could cause some damage so i just dealt with the poo pains and made it clear to everyone around me that i really felt like i need to go poo! 

around 10:30ish my epidural machine was beeping saying it was out of medicine - i immediately freaked out and said i could NOT go through this delivery without an epidural, my nurse quickly calmed me down and said everything would be fine, the anesthesiologist would be in to re-fill it and it would be back in business before i even knew it.  when the anesthesiologist came in he asked how i was feeling, i too told him that i was really feeling the urge to go number two so he increased the amount of my epidural and said that it should help ease the pain.  well not even 5 minutes after he did that my nurse checked me and i was fully dialated and ready to push, she could already see Aniston's head!!  i felt like if she had checked me a little more often during all my "i have poop calls" i could have had her sooner...but she didnt. 

we kicked everyone out of the room and they put me in the stirrups - i was about to have my baby!!!  the nurses had already been telling me that since this was my first child i could possibly push for hours and not to expect a very fast delivery.  well my nurse had me start pushing before dr. o'nan got there and she immediately had me stop pushing - which by the way is not a very easy task! when you feel the urge to push and they tell you not to, its very difficult.  dr. o'nan finally showed up and literally no more than 5 pushes later Aniston was born at 10:55am weighing 7 pounds, 13 ounces and was 20 inches long.  HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE. PERIOD!

they put her on my chest and i just started crying, it was love at first sight.  she was perfect.





two pink lines

december 2010 my life changed forever.  i was given the greatest gift anyone could ever give me.  i was the happiest girl on earth on the inside when i saw those two pink lines. see, my life was complicated at the time and i felt like we couldn't tell anyone - robbie and i had to keep this big secret when all we wanted to do was shout it from the roof tops.  it was extremely difficult keeping that secret...needless to say it didn't stay a secret for very long. i ended up telling my mom shortly before Christmas - she was shocked, literally at a loss for words.  once i told my mom I made a visit to my brother and his girlfriend, more shocked reactions.  i didn't tell anyone else for a while.  luckily it was winter time so i was able to wear big sweatshirts and loose fitted clothing which helped hide my growing belly...but eventually i knew that i had tell because before too long those over sized sweatshirts weren't going to be very over sized. 

everyone was so happy for me - i thought that i couldn't have kids. my first doctor appointment was in late december - they gave me a packet of what to expect at my future doctor appointments and all kinds of pre-natal and baby information.  they confirmed that i was definitely pregnant and gave us an estimated due date of august 14, 2011.  we scheduled our first ultrasound visit for january 17th - that was the longest wait of my life!!  i remember being so excited to get to hear my babies heartbeat, it was the sweetest sound i have ever heard. it was so fast and strong and i just immediately fell in love.  i was offically 10 weeks and 1 day and the baby was right on schedule - august 14th was still the due date. 

now, i am a planner so we were definitely going to be finding out the sex of this child.  deep down we both wanted a girl - i've always dreamed of having a little girl and for the longest time i didnt think that was ever going to happen so as soon as i found out that i was for sure pregnant i instantly hoped it would be a girl, but really whatever the baby had turned out would have been just fine with me, just as long as it was healthy i didnt care. robbie already had two little boys, so a little girl would just make our life complete.  our BIG ultrasound at my doctors office wasn't until the end of march.  well miss impatient over here absolutely couldn't wait that long, heck i couldn't even wait until i was 16 weeks to find out at the fabulous Baby Belly Spa.  i ordered an at home pee in a cup boy/girl result test.  this test said that you could test anywhere from 10 to 16 weeks but the most accurate result would of course be closer to the sixteen week mark.  so i split the difference, at week 13 i took the test, i just couldn't help it - it kept staring me in the face every time i walked into the bathroom, which was every 5 seconds to either throw up or pee, i pee'd ALL THE TIME. on february 2nd we got a girl result!  i was beside myself!! my dreams were coming true i was going to get the girl i had always wanted...we always wanted.  obviously this is just a little rinky-dink at home test that could totally be wrong so its not like we went out and bought all kinds of pink stuff...but i was pretty convinced that i was growing a little girl!

so back to this baby belly spa i mentioned - the greatest place for any pregnant person! i highly suggest if you are pregnant getting a membership to this place! you can get all kinds of ultrasounds, get a massage, mani or pedi's, facials, they offer all kinds of great services especially for the pregnant girl.  robbie and i definitely wanted to have an ultrasound to confirm what our little at home test predicted...but my BIG ultrasound with dr. o'nan was still SEVERAL weeks away.  i called up baby belly and they quickly made us an appointment for just three short weeks later. our appointment was scheduled for 5:30 that evening, working all day was torture but finding out that we were definitely having a little girl made all that waiting worth while.  Aniston Grace became official on march 3rd.

our BIG ultrasound was our next doctor appointment with dr. o'nan on march 29th it again confirmed little pink dresses and hair bows were in our future...but it also picked up an irregular heart beat.  SCARIEST. TIME. OF. MY. LIFE!!  dr. o'nan didn't think that it was a big issue but she knew that i was worried and wouldn't just pass it off as "not a big issue" so she made us an appointment for that same day with a specialist to get it checked out more in depth.  they too didn't think that it was anything to be alarmed about but they did want me to be seen weekly until the "irregularity" corrected its self and was no longer visible.  we were scheduled to go back on april 5th and her heart was already back to normal! PRAISE JESUS!

the rest of my pregnancy was normal, i passed my glucose test, my blood pressure was always great, my weight gain was minimal and i didnt hardly swell at all.  but...i wouldnt say that i had a great pregnancy though...girl made me sick pretty much the whole time!  i literally threw up for the first 20 weeks and it wasn't just "morning sickness" it was all day sickness.  after 20 weeks i didnt get sick as often but i was still nauseaous pretty much all the time.  smells would send me running - i dont know how many times i had to leave the grocery store because of the odor...specifically the seafood!  i also had horrible pain in my back and in my ribs and right under my right boob, i eventually dubbed that my "pre-eclampsia pain" -- i couldnt sit comfortably, i couldnt lay comfortably...it was miserable.  poor robbie would massage me constantly and it didnt ever relieve my pain. i would have dizzy spells and feel like i was going to pass out - they never found out why that happened to me but it was pretty scary when it would, especially when i was driving. i hate to complain about how horrible my pregnancy was, because i was SO excited to finally be pregnant but shew! it was difficult, i coudlnt wait until 8.14.

august 14th still seemed like an eternity away but at the same time was just around the corner. we had so much to still get done and not so much time to do it.  i began talking to dr. o'nan about the possibility of going early and what all my options were.  i needed to get it all worked out so that i knew what i should tell my office about my maternity leave.  i was fortunate enough to have enough time saved up where i could take off 11 weeks and be paid the whole time.  i also was worried that i would go into labor on a night that robbie was at work and i'd  be all by myself.  i wanted a plan, i needed to know exactly when Aniston was going to make her debut!  dr. o'nan told me that she was going to be on vacation the week before my due date and i freaked out! i didn't want someone else delivering Aniston, i've spent the last 9 months seeing HER and i wanted HER to be in the delivery room! lucky for us she was willing to induce me early so that she could be the one to deliver. i had my final office visit with dr. o'nan on thursday, august 4th and we were back in the hospital that night being induced!

i will do a separate post on my birth story.  this is such a long post! that's what i get for not starting a blog as soon as i found out i was pregnant.  obviously this isn't everything i went through, throughout my pregnancy but it is the gist. thinking back on all of this kinda makes me wish that i was still pregnant...but i'm definitely not ready for that again anytime soon.

ready or not...

here I come. I have decided that I should enter the wonderful world of blogging. I find myself reading about 25+ blogs a day and I love it! I feel that I also have a reason to blog...my awesome mini me was born in August and I want to document her life and what's going on so that I don't forget all the fun things she's done. My only regret is that I didn't start this while I was pregnant. I'm going to try and start back at the beginning but that could be an epic fail.